Thursday, August 4, 2011

Cancer Sucks.

I read a shirt when we were in Houston that said CANCER SUCKS. It was right. I have found that any given moment on any given day, it can take me down to my core and rock my world. Today was one of those days. I don't know why. I try to figure it out, analyze every situation/conversation/interaction that I have experienced in the past 24 hours/week to determine if it was that event or the layering of the events that has caused me to lose it... as soon as I can figure that out, you can be sure I won't be doing it again.

But there is a bit of me that softly whispers "it takes time, this has happened before, it may happen again, let it come, heal." I just wish it were a bit louder because most of the day I hear "you are going crazy, when will I stop falling apart, why me, how did this happen?"

On my run this morning I saw a sign that said;
Take long walks,
indulge in hot baths,
question your assumptions,
Just Be.

I need to work on that. I need to work on allowing myself the space to heal. I guess that's it....

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