Today

Today I am....
- Enjoying a little quiet time on the porch while Amelia is playing with the neighborhood little girls and Ben is at soccer camp.
- Squeezing in just a bit of work while no one needs me.
- Relishing the bit of a slow down we are experiencing.  This Spring will jam packed full of fun.  We hardly had a moment to breathe.
- Thinking that I need to make some plans now that things are quieting a bit.
- Loving the fact that this week I have had a few moments with each of the kids.
- Looking forward to a date night soon with my honey.

Tripping.

No, not falling on our face but tripping through Montana!  We are having a wonderful R & R and have figured out some perfect ways to travel with kids!  We are staying at a FANSTASTIC B&B with a huge side yard.  It has a tire swing, fish pond, pool table, croquet set and a beautiful front porch.  The kids have a small little room off of our room and have been sleeping for almost 12 hours right now.  From our bed last night I was able to watch the sunset over the mountains - really!  At this moment, I have been reading and drinking coffee while the little ones are still sawing logs.

Our trip started with a bit of a snafoo - actually quite indicative of our life I'm embarassed to say.  We arrived at the airport to leave on Sunday, only to find that our reservation was for Saturday.  Oops!  We had a brief overnight in Traverse City where the kids had a fabulous time in the hotel  pool, we had a lovely dinner at an Italian restaurant and the very accommodating airlines got us on a very early Sunday morning flight where we arrived in Bozeman by 10:30am.  We grabbed lunch with the bride and got our wiggles out a park that had a playground and a little river running through it and hopped in the car for our three hour drive through the mountains to Missoula.  Once we arrived we settled into our room and headed out for dinner.  We had a wonderful dinner with lots of veggies, strolled through town to get our bearings and then everyone collapsed into bed and called it a day.

Today we're going for a hike (per Amelia's request) and to play in the river.  Pictures to come!

Oh my!

Oh my, it has been so, so long!  I have been wanting to sit down and write several times but I haven't made the time, too much fun being had around here!  What an awesome summer we have had.  We have played so hard for so long, the 80 degree days have been flowing like a river, they've just kept coming!

Today was a bit rainy and we desperately needed a day at home.  We baked bread, read books, did puzzles and the littlest among us put herself to bed before 7pm and promptly fell asleep.  As I write this, my little guy is comfortably engrossed in a book and will be making his way up to bed shortly.

So, let's see, what's new.  Well, not much since the big thing that I can think of is that I painted the porch floor and front door but that was at the beginning of the summer (and I must admit they are super charming!) .... it's such a luxury to say nothing is new!   We are all gearing up for the schedule to start up again this fall and we are welcome to the idea.  Not thrilled but it sounds comfortable.  Good things are on the books for fall; both Ben and Amelia are excited about school, David's business has been exciting and I am looking forward to getting back to teaching and working at the college.  Ben has soccer and Amelia dance - good things all around.  Just life and that's so great! 

We are actually feeling like we are back on our feet and are looking forward to making some plans for the next year.  Healing has been a very interesting process - I never would have expected all of these emotions.  We have realized that we have been so engrossed with the daily grind that we haven't even thought about where we're heading and where we want to go.  Discussions are happening and the concept is exciting! 

Summer in pictures.....

Finally!

We've been waiting all winter.... I have a feeling sledding, snowshoeing, and shoveling are in our future!  Looking forward to a day at home, everything has been cancelled.  Cheers!

One Year.

It has been a year.  What a year.  So many emotions swirl with that.  I feel stronger than I have in 365 days, weaker and more vulnerable than I felt in the previous 35 years, and healthier than I have ever been.  I am truly grateful for every moment of this precious life.  I believe I am more patient, let things slide more readily, have a better perspective and am a better, happier person.  At the same time I am very quick to cry and sometimes feel like curling up into a ball because the implication of cancer means that you know to your core that it could all come crumbling down around you at any moment - scary stuff.  I am thankful to have that awareness and yet at times, I am so angry - parts of ignorance really is bliss.  Awareness though provides benefits of it's own.... I rarely take anything for granted.

My core is David and the kids.  I am most comfortable when I am surrounded by them.  I guess my personal core was rocked so hard that I need others to fill it right now.  Or, maybe it's perspective.  Whatever it is, it's where I'm at.

My brain is finally clearing.  I function at a relatively high level these days - thank goodness.  The first 8 months was really a blur for me.  Often times I had trouble putting one foot in front of the other.  I can now think about Houston without breaking out into a sweat. 

I still have a little trouble figuring out where I want to head.  Who do I want to be, what do I want to accomplish?  There is always a little nagging voice that questions, what if you don't have much time?  Although, I know at my core that I have beat this and it's not coming back.  It's just the realization that life is so fragile, so many, many components and unknowns. 

Trying to Connect.

G. Margie, I have tried to send emails and cards - everything is bouncing back!  Can you send me your updated contact information again?  sarah.shuman@hotmail.com.  Love, (the obviously disorganized) Sarah

Right Now.

Right now I am....

~ Loving Christmas Memories.

~ Wondering how long I will be called "Mama" and hoping it's a long time.

~ Exercising every day but not enough of it is outside.

~ Loving the possibilities and opportunities that are presenting themselves.

~ Looking forward to saying "goodbye" to 2011 and "Hello!" 2012.

~ Savoring quiet morning coffees.

~ Hearing "Mama that was the best Christmas ever".....

~ Feeling oh so grateful.